I have ruined my book.
It was doing fine. I loved it. I believed in the characters then suddenly I get some feedback.
"It needs urgency" my reviewer said. So I devised a plan... include a day in which things take place. Suddenly everything sucks.
I no longer know what's happening or what to do. I'm "fixing" things with patches I haven't preplotted out and messing with things I swore I'd never again touch. I'm at a crippling emotional low as I reconsider the value of everything I've made.
This book sucks, it'll never sell, It's a wasted effort, I'm a horrible author.
Why did this happen? Why have I fallen into this hole and how can I get back out of it?
First question I have to ask myself is was the edit worth it? Do I believe in the concept of the new story element? Well yes... on paper I believe in it fine. Utilizing it, however, has thrown me for a loop. I've edited it fifteen times... how can I use the same idea with less invasion?
Maybe I just namedrop it like it's not a big deal? No, it's a story thread... ugh...
Maybe I leave it out of the part that's confusing - aka the prophecy. We learn about the Brushcaster betrayal later in the game. Build it back up about the Curses again like I did last time.
Maybe I put this goddamn book on a shelf for another three years and rewrite it then.
I'm really miserable right now, you guys, I'm seriously considering abandoning ship and going to a previous draft where this addition didn't exist... at least to write ahead. I'm so tired of being stuck in the same ninety pages.
This blog post is more for my own frustration because my previous strategies haven't helped. I tried to talk it out but my sounding board didn't care. I tried to write it on paper and failed. I tried putting it together in the draft and sucked desperately.
All I ask from my audience right now is prayer - God's the only guidance I can trust at this point.